Blog

Christmas looks a little different this year. There is no tree, no stockings or lights. I almost feel ashamed when visitors come to my house. I feel the need to explain myself but never really do. I can see them looking at the pile of gifts, not under a tree, just leaning against the wall.… Continue reading A Different Christmas

In the 3 years that Aubrey has been in heaven I have learned to expect the unexpected, to just keep on going no matter what life throws at me and to pause when things sneak up on me. Up until now there have been countless times of unexpected grief that just hit out of nowhere.… Continue reading Expecting the Unexpected

I am supposed to be working right now but I can’t get this off my mind and needed to get my thoughts in writing. I had this conversation with a close friend a couple weeks ago and it really made me think about my reality in the here and now. How we as a whole… Continue reading Loss, Infertility, Life

I have been struggling on where I want to go with the second part of this post. My posts up to this point have focused on the healing process for me after losing a child. I now feel that I am in another transition period of my life. All of the components that have guided… Continue reading Health & Loss – Part 2

Getting healthy after losing a child is one of the last things a person wants to do. You know all the benefits that come with diet & exercise but that requires effort. You’re already struggling to make it through the day, heck to make it through the hour, why would you put one more thing… Continue reading Health & Loss – Part 1

You all know my journey, I’ve been pretty open with all that we have been through. Having no choice but to sit & watch your baby leave this world is the hardest thing a mother should never have to do. Sometimes we aren’t given an option. We may not like it but God’s plans are… Continue reading Scared to Heal

I had this picture taken last weekend and I have been going back and forth about posting it. I am having a mental battle with myself and I know all of these thoughts are the enemy trying to get to me. They are all thoughts that I have conjured up myself and I know that… Continue reading The Picture

Gosh, the sermon in church this morning really got me thinking about my many blessings and the ways I could show how grateful I am for them. When you get up in the morning do you start your day with a grumble or do you start your day thanking God for your blessings? When you… Continue reading It’s a Choice

Can I just start with how amazing my God is, guys….He is so good. This past week I had a couple conversations that were not expected at all. God set these up to remind me of my why. Remind me of the bigger purpose of my life. Two days in a row I got to… Continue reading Thoughts

I often think and talk of my life as before and after Aubrey. You will often hear me say “before Aubrey was born….” or “after Aubrey went to heaven….”. It’s an unfortunate distinction that comes with the loss of a child. You see, before Aubrey was born, I was not the person I am today.… Continue reading Before and After