Wow today was one of those days. It actually didn’t seem that bad until I sat down to color in my coloring book (yes I love those adult coloring books, they are a great stress reliever) did it hit me. Not just today, but last night as well was a day full of flashbacks.
As I was sitting at my computer designing some t-shirts I hear a vehicle drive up the driveway. I look out and to my shock it is the medical supply company that provided us with all of Aubrey’s medical equipment and supplies. The very first thought was why are they here. Then all the memories came flooding back.
August 29th, 2016 the day Aubrey came home. This company was in our home delivering all of her supplies. The overwhelming emotions of what is all of this stuff. What is this weird looking padding. I’m supposed to remember what each of these things are for? Where in the world am I supposed to store all of this stuff. I love to organize things so immediately my mind was rolling as to how I was going to organize it all. I feel bad for my husband, mom and my cousin, Jamie because I was constantly moving things on them trying to get it in the best spot.
Then the late night calls to them when one of Aubrey’s machines would quit working. I remember one night having to call them probably about 2:00 o’clock in the morning when her humidifier stopped working, actually this happened twice. I felt so bad because they are out of a city about an hour away. So when this happens they always have somebody on call. One of these times was when Aubrey was maybe home for a couple of months and we were still getting to know her equipment and what her needs were. I call them, they try to help me trouble shoot the machine, finally we can’t figure it out so they call the on call person, in the middle of the night to bring us another one. The poor guy would have had to get up, go to the office, find a new machine and drive the hour long drive to our home. But, a smart man he was, before leaving the office he gave me a call and tried himself to help me figure out what was wrong. It was the most silly thing in the world. These machines have little bottles on them with straws and sometimes the straws get messed up and quit sucking the water up. Well guess what, thats all it was, all I needed to do was put a new bottle on the machine. Wow, I was so glad he called and didn’t end up making the drive all the way out here.
They are also the company though that we had the most issues with. Every month I would have to call with some sort of billing problem. Or they billed the wrong insurance, my goodness they could not get our insurances correct ever. I might be mistaken but we might still be getting bills from them saying that so and so insurance is denying the claim. Almost every time we have to tell them that they are billing the wrong insurance.
Then, the day that same truck pulled up into our driveway to collect all of those machines that kept our baby girl alive. I remember like it was yesterday. One of my best friends and her little boys came over just to hang out with me. I don’t remember if she had planned to be there because they were coming or if God just knew I needed somebody that day. And I don’t know if she knows but she helped me tremendously that day. If she wouldn’t have been there I may have fallen apart. But because of her and those boys I was able to not think so much about them taking all of the equipment that were essential parts of our day to day lives.
Traveling through Grief 